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All about Men!!
Men Are Like...
Men are like... place mats. They only
show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like... mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men
are like... bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like... government
bonds. They take so long to mature.
Men are like... parking spots. All the good ones are taken.
Men
are like... copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it...haha
Men are like... lava lamps. Fun
to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like... bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate
much interest.
Men are like... high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are
like... miniskirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

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Who
understands men?
1. The nice men are ugly. 2. The handsome men are not nice. 3.
The handsome and nice men are gay. 4. The handsome, nice
and heterosexual men are married. 5. The men who are
not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money. 6.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money. 7. The handsome men without money are after our money. 8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. 9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat
nice and have money, are towards. 10. The men who are
somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! 11.The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest
in us when we take the initiative. NOW ...WHO IN THE
HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN? |
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Here are 15 pieces of advice:
1) Don't imagine you can change a man-unless he's in diapers 2) What
do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3) If the put a man on the moon, they should be able to put
them all up there. 4) Never let your man's mind wander- it's too little to be out all alone. 5) Go for younger men.
You might as well, they never mature anyway. 6) Men are all the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them
apart. 7) Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8) Women don't
make fools of men-mos of them are the do-it-yourself-types. 9) The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest
that they are too old for it. 10) Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11) If you want a committed man,
look in a mental hospital. 12) The children of Israel wandered
around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13) If he asks what sort
of books you're interested in, tell him check books. 14) Remember that a sense of humour doesnt mean that you tell him
jokes, it means that you laugh at his. 15) Sadly, all men are created equal.
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Men...
· If Guys had their period, theyd brag about their tampon size.
· Men are like lawn mowers...when youre not pushing them around, your riding them.
· Guys are like slinkies fun to watch fall down the stairs.
· Guys act like dicks to make up for the ones they don't have.
· Guys are like mascara, they run at the first site of emotion.
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