1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Guy looks at his crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a
crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll
be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

39. Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

40. My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going, and going, and going....

41. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if i were on you i would be cuming too.

42. You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby, you da bomb!!!

43. I have lost my number, can i have yours?

44. Excuse me? im new in town, can i have dirrections to your house??

45. Fuck me if im wrong, is your name Yodalina?

46. Hello, may i use your cell? my mother told me to phone home when i found the woman of my dreams

47. The word for the night is 'legs'; lets go back to my place and spread the word

48. Was your dad a farmer? cause you sure have great melons

49. Hi, my name is pogo, want to jump on my stick?

50. look at all those curves, and me with no brakes

 

 

Guy: How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Girl: Oh, sorry. I would, but i don't like short stories.

 

 

 

Comebacks for Girls